Sunday, 01 November 2009

  • My Halloween

    It didn't go quite as planned. The original plan?

    Friday: Go to my cousin's house. Work out, hang out, play Castle Crashers. See Zombieland.
    Saturday: Spend half the day playing more Castle Crashers. Meet up with two friends (and their girlfriends). Go to dinner, see Saw VI.
    Sunday: Work on some homework*

    What actually happened is that one of my friends (he lives about three hours away, and I haven't seen him for about seven months) couldn't get time off of work. My other pal didn't give me a call, so he was probably off having lots of sex (can't blame him, really). Also, Zombieland stopped playing at our theater on the day before. Awesome.

    So, Friday was just a day of hanging out.

    Saturday, we saw Cirque Du Freak. I really liked this movie. It felt good to watch a vampire movie that didn't take it self so seriously, but was engaging enough. I had a lot of fun watching it. Afterward, we worked out and were finally able to actually play Castle Crashers.

    And, today, I got up, played some Wii, helped my cousin with his computer (as much as I could), and came home. I am now watching the Office. I am going to study for my Art History test and hopefully get a lesson of math done.

    So, pretty good weekend, overall.

    *I miss typed this as "homowork". I found it funny; you may not. Suck it. :D

  • People suck.

    Why is it we are so hung up on understanding/ being right? If someone does something we don't understand, we seem to automatically assume it is wrong. We look for technicalities, quotes, definitions, whatever to prove our point even though so many things don't affect us in the slightest.

    What made me think of this? http://tinyurl.com/yca9phq

    Man oh man, the quotes from those comments.

    Main Entry: male

    Pronunciation: \ˈmāl\

    1 a : a male person : a man or a boy b : an individual that produces small usually motile gametes (as spermatozoa or spermatozoids) which fertilize the eggs of a female.

    (taken from merriam-webster online)

    If you don't got that, sorry your NOT a male and NEVER will be!!! live how God made you!


    It is not your place to interpret God, dumbass. Who the hell are you to be so vain, so damn arrogant? Besides, your God is very clearly different than mine or Chaz's, so shut the f**k up. I don't want to be under your lord's foot if he so much of a dick to make people that are uncomfortable in their own bodies and then judge them for it.
    Also, dipshit, what do you make of infertile men? Castrated men? Cross gender men? Do you see how the line is much too vague to make these kind of judgments?
       
    "Gender is something between your ears, not between your legs" Gender is and always has been the XY or  XX or the rarer XXY. Its so odd how people will equate normal natural to bigotry, from a scientific standpoint, its XY that determines man. Not your delusions of anything else, its just so odd how people are like "we should celebrate what hir decision is." If I thought I was a fish inside my head, people would tell me to get some help. I couldn't go anywhere to get some gills instead of lungs, but even if I did that still don't make me a fish. Psychological Trama or lack of docking sites in the brain for a specific chemical messenger leads to homosexual tendencies. Some people need help instead of the scalpel. Some people encourage the scalpel instead of the help.

    Well, in terms of psychology, gender is a cultural and personal interpretation and sex is the biological assignment. But, really, my problem with this thinking is that it really appears that the commenter doesn't seem to care that much with a person making this choice and instead makes the point that if you feel this way, their is something wrong with you.
    I disagree. I do believe we should encourage people to be as comfortable with their bodies and selves as they can, But, if they cannot be ok with themselves, no amount of therapy is going to change that.
    Don't judge them for their want to change; it is their body, their life. Not yours.


    So, yeah, the moral of the story? If it doesn't affect you, you really have no room to talk. Your beliefs, your ideas, and your predispositions (whatever!) are yours. You wouldn't want someone else dissecting and judging your decisions, so why do you feel it is right to jump down others people's throughts?

    Oh, and if you want to pull shit out of your ass and say I am being a hypocrite and I am the one judging, I don't care. I already know I'm not going to change people's minds if they don't want to change. I just refuse to not say something.

Saturday, 17 October 2009

  • Health and me

    Arrgh. I just got done with my run (it is now past eleven at night). I am slightly light headed, sore, and hungry, but I feel good. I really do. I feel less like the chubby kid I used to be, which is nice.

    My family has a history of heart related issues and obesity (whose doesn't, right?). It has haunted me for ages that I would end up like my dad: overweight and unhappy with it. For the last few years I have tried and started several workout routines and healthier food choices. Never stuck. But, for the last three(?) months, I have been working out consistently (at least, lifting weights consistently, with a mild amount of cardio consistency). I started at 205 pounds and dropped to 185, which is where I am at now. I am about six foot two. I am now officially in the "healthy" BMI range, which I am glad to be in. However, I do not want to stop here. I wish to reach my target weight of 170-175 pounds (which should put me right in the middle of the BMI range).

    The reason I am bringing this up (other than that I am feeling tired but well), is my self esteem. I have never really thought I was fat, per se. I thought more along the lines of not being fit. I know that I am not unattractive in any way because of my physique and I don't think people that have my body style are overweight, either. However, I am not satisfied with my wellness, yet. I don't want to settles for a normal amount of fitness; I want to fulfill my potential. My self esteem is actually fairly high. I like myself. I rarely concern myself with what others think of my appearance (loved ones, notwithstanding).

    So, yeah, I am working towards a happier, healthy me (cue the cliches).

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

  • I recently heard about the pageant in Hungary where every contestant was required to have had plastic surgery. My thoughts? A bit weird, but, her, whatever floats your boat.

    Apparently, though, others don't really have this point of view. It seems that we as a culture look down on plastic surgery as "unnatural". We believe in "natural" beauty and being comfortable with one's self.

    Yeah right.

    If we were really concerned with being comfortable with ourselves, why would we give one damn about someone else's decision to modify their body? If that is what it takes to make them comfortable in their own skin, then that is their choice to make, not ours to judge.

    We sit here and tell people to be comfortable with themselves and to embrace their natural beauty, and, yet, we still judge others for not wearing the right things or having their hair the wrong way. We shun those that choose to change a physical part of themselves in order to be happy. We trivialize their feelings because they are not our own (or they are our own, but we are too cowardly to make that kind of change). We tell them there is something with how they see themselves when all we see is their "fakeness".

    I will stand forever on the side of encouraging people to embrace their bodies, but I am no fool. I know that, for most of us, this is almost impossible in our society. Personally, I wish I was skinnier, fitter, with better teeth and skin. But, you know what? I am cool with working towards those things because they are things within my control. I am lucky for that. Some aren't. I would ask that we be courteous and not hypocritical when we point our fingers at others, but, then again, we are f**king human and we have typical human bulls**t tendencies. So, whatever.

     

Thursday, 08 October 2009

Wednesday, 07 October 2009

  • My chica

    She rocks, she does. Even with all her lame insecurities and her attempts to deny how awesome my stupid jokes are, she still rapidly impresses me with how not the norm and how totally normal she is.

    I don't know exactly why I'm posting this. No one reads my shit anyway (that was an observation, not a plea for attention, by the way. If I really want people to notice me on the webs, I should just focus more on my music and post it). I think the reason I am posting this little update is that I just got off the phone with her and she ends it like she normally does: sad.

    Not because of me... well, not really. Because of the lack of me. She must get the pit I do... hell, more than I do when I end conversations with her and say good bye. She feels more in this relationship than I do. I've learned to be ok with this. Why? Because if my feelings are the lower end, I can't imagine the euphoria that she must get from this.

    And I love that. I love that I get to make someone feel so good. I love that someone makes me feel as good as I do. It's the kind of thing that makes you feel like the time when you were very depressed feel like it happened to someone else. And that rocks. Like, out loud.

Monday, 05 October 2009

  • School

    I met with my counselor today at the college. See, I am working to transfer to the University of Mississippi next fall, so I need to make sure that I am up to snuff.

    So, after about two semesters of failing school (and two of doing pretty damn good), I am sitting at a 2.2 GPA that is, fortunately, climbing. After this and the spring semester, I will be leaving Yuba Community College with an AA in psychology. Next semester, I will be taking chemistry, biology, and trig. Not looking forward to that, but, then again, if I want to take shiz seriously, and be a psychiatry medical student, that is the kind of workload I need to be able to handle, eh?

    I am really looking forward to moving out to Mississippi, oddly enough. I live in California right now, and, I do like it, but it is really expensive to live here. By moving with my girlfriend, we'll be able to afford a two room apartment by ourselves and be able to (at least attempt to) handle just about everything on our own. Also, we get to move out from the authority figures we got. That means, for me, getting to step away and build better relationships with family, and, for Lynn, being able to just step away.

    So, overall, it is the best decision. I get to go to a really good school, move out, and live with my girlfriend. But, I also have to leave a lot of shit behind that I don't want to; people that are really important to me. I just started a workout routine with my cousin. I know that doesn't make sense to most people, but that, along with his new kid and house, made us a lot tighter. Also, my dad seems to be hitting a point in his life where he is actually starting to take care of himself for a change, rather than everyone else. And, then there's my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, friends, etc.

    And, that will suck to leave behind, but I need to do this so I can come back with what I need and want: a damn good career so that money won't be the problem it is for so many people I know.

    So, I look forward to making something more of myself (even more than I am now!). :D

Sunday, 04 October 2009

  • I f**king love Dexter. I just started watching the first season and it is a show worth the hype. I don't know. I likes it.

    Anyway... something has been sitting in my head for about a week. Halloween. That's when I am meeting up with two friends (and their girlfriends). I am really looking forward to that, though. I am hella busy with school, and, with both of them living a good distance away, I never get to hang with them, you know?

    Anyway (again), my buddy is a freakin' wuss when it comes to running a relationship. He apologizes as a greeting to her when he is on the phone. He buys her extravagent gifts and waits on her hand and foot... which is fine,.. except... that is exactly what made his last relationship fail. He refused to stand up when he should have, he avoided confrontation, and he didn't communicate. He complains about her, but nothing happens.

    Is there a point where I need to step in and say something? I think there is. Not to correct; just to let him know I want them to succeed. I just need to be able to decipher where the genuine concerns stop and my arrogant bullshit begins, you know?

    So, between me and buddy A, we have to decide if we want to "intervene" with buddy B. I don't know. I feel like I should, but I don't feel like I want to. Or maybe it's the other way around. Pretty lame, no? : /

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

  • F**k this s**t

    I am going to go back to doing some f**king art.  I have been sitting on my ass too long. I just got back into exercising and proper regimented training for guitar (for the last two months); I should definitely be able to add sketching and shit to that list. Also, I am taking school by the balls, it seems like, so, while the time is good, I should f**king do it.

    I am a member of Deviant Art. I watch people (both artists and "artists"), and I am amazed at how much people who are talentless hacks pass their shit off as gold. I am tired of my site being a waste of space, so I am going to do something about it.

    So, all you losers on DA that waste my time: you can suck it.

    I am coming back. >:D

Saturday, 26 September 2009

  • "If you read you judge"

    I hope one day to understand Kurt Cobain. I do.

    I hate that he died alone. I don't know. It gets to me sometimes. For some reason. Hell, I'm not that much of a Nirvana fan (but, being a Weezer fan, it wasn't much of a stretch to have them in my library also).

    Yet, I am still bothered that it has been, what, fifteen years or so, and we still don't know what he wanted to convey. Not really, anyway. Not to say that I blame the fans, or society, or Courtney Love for that (I wish I could for the latter). No one is to blame, because all we have is our best guesses, you know?

    It is kind of weird that I miss a person I never met who died before I knew who they were. It is also kind of sad.

    Also, compared to his shit songs, my best are nothing. : )

MattFreakinNix

  • Visit MattFreakinNix's Xanga Site
    • Name: Matthew
    • Birthday: 11/23/1988
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 4/6/2009

About Me

  • Uh... they always ask these and I always respond inconsistently. Basically, i can just say that I am Matt Freakin Nix. The name says it all. I am legendary in the most mediocre way. I enjoy music and that takes up most of my time. I play in the band Life Without Air. I enjoy musicians like Weezer, Metallica, Josh Woodward, Ramones, and Billy Reid. So, yeah... there's that. Otherwise, I am sure I will write incredibly interesting posts about the other aspects of my life.

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  • Mangonese
    I like the tag "suckinganut" you have on here. Very classy. :P
  • EbilJo
    Chika chicka wha?!
    • Posted 4/7/2009 9:25 AM
    • by EbilJo

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